For so long, I thought I was great at handling stress. I thrived under pressure, met deadlines, pushed through exhaustion. But what I didn’t realize was that I wasn’t actually handling stress—I was ignoring it, overriding my body’s signals, and pushing forward at the cost of my well-being.
If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Stress is a natural response. It’s our body’s way of keeping us alert and prepared. But when it becomes chronic, when we stay in a constant state of tension, it begins to take its toll—on our minds, our bodies, and our ability to truly be present in our lives.
What Stress Really Does to Us
Stress activates our sympathetic nervous system—the part responsible for the fight-or-flight response. When we sense danger (even if it’s just an overflowing inbox or a looming deadline), our body releases stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline, preparing us to react.
In real danger, this response is life-saving. But most of the stress we experience daily isn’t about survival—it’s about expectations, responsibilities, and pressures that never seem to ease.
And when we don’t allow our bodies to return to a state of calm, stress builds up, turning into anxiety, fatigue, and even physical illness.
The Power of Selfgentleness
Here’s what I’ve learned: The antidote to chronic stress isn’t pushing through. It’s listening. It’s recognizing the signals your body is sending you and responding with care rather than dismissal. This is where selfgentleness comes in.
Selfgentleness means honoring your needs, slowing down when your body asks you to, and creating small rituals of calm amidst the chaos. It means understanding that rest is not a luxury—it’s a necessity.
Three Simple Practices to Reduce Stress
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, here are three practices that can help you shift from stress to calm:
1️⃣ The Calming Breath: Lengthen your exhale to twice the length of your inhale. This cues your nervous system to relax and slows your heart rate almost instantly.
2️⃣ Grounding in Nature: If possible, place your bare feet on the earth or simply focus on the sensation of standing, visualizing roots growing from your feet into the ground. This practice reconnects you with stability and presence.
3️⃣ Tuning in: When stress takes over, we often stop listening to what we truly need. A simple practice of pausing and checking in with yourself can help. Ask: What am I feeling? What do I need right now? If this resonates, in a previous post I explained more about the tuning in process and I’ve shared an audio practice on tuning in.
Find What Works for You
There’s no one-size-fits-all approach to stress relief. That’s why I created a Selfgentleness Checklist with 16 simple practices to help you find ease and release stress. Pick the ones that resonate, and start small—selfgentleness begins with giving yourself permission to pause.
Download it here for free and choose the practices that resonate with you. Because you deserve to move through life with more ease.
Be selfgentle,
All love, Femke