About Selfgentleness with Femke
What if the way you treat yourself could change everything?
Many of us move through life weighed down by self-criticism, expectations, and the feeling that we should always be doing more. We push, strive, and hold ourselves to impossible standards—only to feel exhausted, disconnected, and never quite enough.
Selfgentleness is a different way.
It’s not about giving up or doing less. It’s about moving through life with more gentleness, strength, and ease—without guilt or self-pressure. It’s the radical yet deeply practical idea that when we meet ourselves with gentleness, we create the conditions to truly thrive.
Who am I?
I’m Dr. Femke E. Bakker—a selfgentleness teacher, behavioral scientist, and TEDx speaker. I founded the SelfGentleness Academy to help people shift from self-pressure to self-trust, from harsh self-judgment to deep self-support.
With a background spanning behavioral science, meditation teaching, and the performing arts, I bring a unique blend of research, storytelling, and practical tools to my work. I’m also a professor at Leiden University, where I study leadership, beliefs, and meditation.
Here on Substack, I share:
✨ Weekly reflections on selfgentleness in daily life
✨ Practical ways to navigate challenges with more ease
✨ Guided meditations & practices to help you integrate selfgentleness into your day
Want to start right away? Download my free Selfgentleness Guide—a simple, practical guide to making selfgentleness part of your daily life.
How You Can Support This Work
This space is free for all subscribers. But if my work resonates and you’d like to support it, you can visit my website and find all kinds of resources to start practicing selfgentleness. Some of these are even free!
And what I would really love for you to do is to let anyone who might benefit from this work know that I am here! Share my blogposts , tell them about what this did for you.
Your support helps me continue sharing these teachings freely with as many people as possible.
Either way, I’m grateful you’re here.
Join me, and let’s bring more selfgentleness into the world.
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