How to Stay Grounded When Polarization Is All Around Us

(Part 3 of a 4-Part Series on Finding Ease in Political Differences)

This is the third of a four-part series on Finding Ease in Political Differences. Over the next few weeks, I’ll be sharing thoughts on how to navigate polarization, stay grounded in difficult conversations, and empower yourself to hold your own voice with confidence. Each piece will include reflections, tools, and meditative practices to support you on this path.

Before we begin, a gentle reassurance: These articles are not about politics, and they are not here to tell you what to think or believe. You will never be asked to agree with, excuse, or accept harmful words or actions. Instead, these writings are here for you—to help you find steadiness in uncertain times, to support your own values without being consumed by division, and to nurture your desire for connection, love, and inner peace.

If you’ve been feeling exhausted by the state of the world, I hope this series brings even a small sense of relief.

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How to Stay Grounded When Polarization Is All Around Us

There’s a moment many of us know too well. You open social media, turn on the news, or overhear a heated conversation—and suddenly, your heart is pounding, your stomach is tight, and your mind is racing. Maybe it’s outrage. Maybe it’s anxiety. Maybe it’s the deep exhaustion of feeling like the world is tearing itself apart.

In these moments, it can feel impossible to stay steady. But what if, instead of being pulled into the storm, you could find a way to anchor yourself? What if polarization didn’t have to dictate your inner world?

Why Polarization Feels So Personal

Polarization isn’t just a political issue—it’s a deeply human one. Our nervous systems are wired to scan for threats, and in a world where information moves fast and emotions run high, it’s easy to interpret differing opinions as dangers to our own safety or belonging. That’s why political tensions don’t just stay in the realm of ideas; they show up in our bodies, our relationships, and our sense of self.

This isn’t just theoretical. Studies in neuroscience show that when we engage with political conflict, our brains activate the same stress responses as when we face physical danger. No wonder it feels so overwhelming.

The good news? Just as our nervous system can be activated by division, it can also be trained to find calm within it. The more we practice grounding ourselves, the less power polarization has over us.

A Practice for Staying Steady

Next time you feel pulled into the chaos, try this:

1. Pause and name what’s happening. Instead of getting lost in the emotion, take a deep breath and say to yourself, This is polarization. This is my nervous system reacting. I can choose how I respond. Simply naming the experience creates space between you and the intensity of the moment.

2. Drop into your body. Instead of staying in the cycle of thoughts, shift your attention to physical sensations. Feel your feet on the ground. Notice your breath. Roll your shoulders back. Let your body remind you that you are here, in this moment, not trapped in the storm of opinions.

3. Reconnect with what matters. Ask yourself: Who do I want to be in this moment? What actually needs my energy? Sometimes, disengaging is the most self-loving choice. Other times, staying engaged—but from a place of steadiness—allows for more meaningful conversations.

This isn’t about ignoring the world or becoming indifferent to injustice. It’s about reclaiming your power so that the world doesn’t control your inner peace. From that place, you can engage—or step back—with clarity, rather than exhaustion.

Photo by Shane Rounce

A Meditation to Support You

If you'd like a deeper practice to help you stay grounded, I’ve recorded a special meditation to accompany this post—part of my live series around the 2024 U.S. elections. This guided practice is designed to help you shift out of reactivity and into a state of inner steadiness, no matter what’s happening around you. It’s on YouTube and you can listen to it here or watch below:

Looking Ahead

This is the third installment in our four-part series on Finding Ease in Political Differences. Next week, we’ll explore how to find your own voice in a divided world—without needing external validation.

If you’d like to explore these ideas more deeply, my 10-day course, Positive Politics: How to Deal with Political Differences, offers guided reflections and practical tools to help you find ease in a polarized world. Learn more here.

Until then, be selfgentle.

All love, Femke

Dr. Femke E. Bakker is a selfgentleness teacher and behavioral scientist specializing in political psychology. She studies, among other things, the impact of meditation on political tolerance and was awarded the PEACE grant from the Mind & Life Institute in 2019 for her research on tolerance.